OK, I know this title sounds like a quote brought to you by the “Department of Redundancy Department”, but bear with me. And know that I will be repeating myself. I am suddenly reminded of a song by “Toad the Wet Sprocket”, wherein the lyrics “I will not repeat myself” are repeated several times… Don’t know why I remember this. Perhaps because I used to play that particular song often. REPEATEDLY, even. Repetition makes things stick. And repetition in combination with music is an unbeatable memory tool. How many silly TV commercials from your childhood do you remember because of this combination? That’s what I thought.
As powerful as repetition is, it can also be frustrating. In fact, it can drive you downright bonkers, depending on what is being repeated. I was just over at My Three Sons’ house, and one of them had written, in marker, on his brother’s mirrored closet doors, the lyrics to “The Song That Never Ends”. Over and over, top to bottom, on both doors. This really made me laugh. And now that stupid song is stuck in my head. Thanks, guys. But my point is taken, right?
Having said that, most, if not all, of the basic spiritual laws that I live by in my adult life, I learned through repetition as a child. Often in conjunction with music. That is how I know that “I Am A Child of God”, and other equally precious truths. In my job as a teachers’ aide this past year, I was reminded first-hand of the power of repetition as I did phonetic drills with small children learning to read. At the end of the year, I got to see first-hand the amazing results of their progress.
There is a character in Greek Mythology by the name of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was a king who thought he could hang with the Gods, and consequently got himself condemned to push a rock up a hill for Eternity, only to have it roll back down every time he got it near the top. I have been intrigued with the story of Sisyphus since the first time I heard it. This was sometime during the early years of my marriage, when my days were full of the repetitive tasks that come with having small children and running a home. No matter how many times you change a dirty diaper, there will always be another one. No matter how many times you do the dishes or the laundry, there is always more. I could feel for Sisyphus, even though I have never done any of the evil stuff he did to earn his punishment. Still, I really felt like I was pushing that stupid rock up the hill every day of my life.
Although I have managed to advance beyond dirty diapers, (except in my role as Grandma, which only occasionally requires this of me) I still can relate to Sisyphus. And my interpretation of the story has moved beyond just being able to relate. I now feel like I am a bit closer to accessing the deeper meaning. On its own, the neverending task of pushing a rock up a hill seems tragically pointless. Yet, it follows that the process of doing this over and over again builds up an amazing amount of strength.
One of my favorite movies is a little gem called “Groundhog Day”, where a cranky and selfish Bill Murray finds himself repeating the same day, Groundhog Day, over and over again. Trapped in Punxsutawney, PA, awaking over and over to Sonny and Cher on the radio, he tries every extreme thing he can think of to escape the torture, eventually coming to realize that the only way to break the cycle is to embrace the day and keep trying to get it right.
In assessing the path my life has taken, particularly over the past 5 years, I am seeing the repetition of painful lessons that I keep thinking I have learned, only to have them surface yet again. In many ways, I feel like I have been trapped in Punxsutawney for the past 5 years.
As a single mother facing the sometimes staggering fallout of managing a family split by divorce, (and the very real prospect of remaining alone) I have gained peace and perspective from the repetition of basic truths that I hear when I attend church and go to the temple. Some of these things are repeated word for word, every time, and after years of hearing them this way, they are seared into my soul, and I find I can more readily access them when I need to.
I have found myself, more than once, on my knees, pleading with God about why this crappy stuff keeps happening. Asking Him, “What am I MISSING? Why do I have to go through this AGAIN? How long will this agony last?” If you have been following this blog, you will have already read about some of these experiences. The answer to this series of questions is, of course, that the lesson will repeat until the message sinks in. Until I really embrace the day and get it right. This “day” can take a lifetime, and I know I am not alone when I say that sometimes this is spiritually exhausting. Endlessly repeating the same pleas to the Lord can be emotionally draining. But I do it anyway. And I do it again. And again.
It is often in the repetition of something I have heard so many times before, but never internalized, that I find my answers. I will read a familiar scripture, and it suddenly has personal application to me and whatever I am dealing with. The older I get, the more this happens.
It is starting to sink in for me that repetition is how we keep the good things in our lives, and it’s how we make them better. Including our relationships with the people we love. If we don’t interact with them over and over, love them and tell them, serve them REPEATEDLY, then nothing sticks, and life is empty. We all have to do our time in Punxsutawney. So push the rock up the hill, whether you feel like it or not. And sing along with that annoying song until you find a reason to like it. Then repeat the process.
I have one more parting thought to share with you. There is one thing in life that many people think needs to be repeated that in fact does NOT. When shampooing one's hair, it is NOT, I repeat NOT necessary to repeat after lathering and rinsing. This is just the shampoo companies trying to up their profits. I learned this from David Letterman, and it has saved me maybe hundreds of dollars over the years. Someday I hope to thank him personally for opening my eyes. And now I have opened yours. You're welcome.
