My friend Cherie challenged me to post “art made by me” on
the Facebook for the next 5 days, then said “I was thinking in particular of
your cool writing on your blog.” Firstly, Cherie sports a MUCH cooler blog than
mine, so NO PRESSURE. And secondly, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. So this right here will
be the “art made by me” for Day One.
For the record, I have actually attempted “real art” in the
past. I used to draw horses all the time when I was a kid, and I got pretty
good at it. Because I did it all the time. I also dabbled in animation in high
school, and then, (in a fit of obvious delusion) tried to be an art major at
BYU. For a whole semester. Besides the abject humiliation of realizing just how far out of my depth I
was, the most important thing I remember from that time was a quote from a drawing
instructor I had by the name of Wolf Barsch, who said “if you are feeling like
you are in a rut, you should go home and clean out your closet.”
As an 18-year-old freshman, (who had already changed my
major twice) I thought this advice was silly and random. Now, as a 53-year old
single mom and grandma, (who is still trying to figure out what I wanna BE when
I grow up) I recognize it as the profound truth that it is. I have long embraced
the idea that our lives should be grand works of art, but that often we
have bland colors and crappy mediums to work with as we attempt to shape the
ugly truth into something that is prettier to gaze upon. Sometimes we don’t
like the brushes we have, or the direction the piece is going, so we shove it all into a closet where we don’t have to look at it.
I have spent DECADES shoving unfinished projects into
countless closets. Both literally and figuratively. Much of the “art of my life”
has been stalled for years. Or so I have believed. Because circumstances, or
lack of discipline, or child bearing and child rearing, or too much laundry,
television, despair, divorce, or other derailments prevented me from completing
the artistic life plans I had drawn up in my head, I fully and mistakenly
embraced the belief that I WAS DOING NOTHING WITH MY LIFE.
Thankfully, I have realized that what I have been doing is
NOT “nothing.” This realization has prompted me to delve into that overstuffed
closet where all those neglected art projects are hidden. So that I can prove
to myself that there is value and beauty in all those stored bits of myself
that I have not allowed anyone to see. I am learning to view each day as a
blank canvas, and my mediums of choice are words, music, and humor. My shades
of blue, red, and black are made deeper and richer by the mixture of blood,
sweat, tears, hope, faith, and endurance that my experiences have added to the palette,
and ALL of it will be part of the final masterpiece. Nothing is wasted.
Much of the expression of who I am comes through the sharing
of who my children are, and the artistry that is THEIR lives. Because they are
an extension of me, and they are what I have been pouring my heart, soul, and
creativity into, these many years. Shining my light onto their art, music, and humor
is possibly my favorite act of personal artistic expression. So I have included
a sketch of myself that was drawn by my daughter, Kylie. Who actually IS good
at the “real art” thing. And I will be displaying this blog post on the wall of
the Giant Glass House that is Social Media. Because that is my current Gallery.
That is where I show my “canvas” of each new day, whether it be a filtered or
unfiltered image of how I look and feel via the Instagram, or something funny
or painful or miraculous that I saw, or heard, or felt.
People are free to like
it, or ignore it, or attack it, or share and embrace and build upon it. It can
be scary sometimes, but more often it is nourishing and fulfilling for me. Sometimes
I hang out and linger too long in the Gallery, when I really should be heading
back over to the Studio of “real life” and getting something solid done. But I
am working on that, too. My piece entitled “Balance” is a work in progress.
So. There you have it. “Art, made by me, today.” In 800
words or less. Tune in tomorrow for the next installment. Thank you, and
Goodnight.
