Learned Lesson Number Six – Faith is the Opposite of Fear

I believe in faith. Is that redundant? Perhaps a better way to state that would be that I practice faith. Practice is a great word because it suggests repetition. And repetition is the only way we really learn anything. I often find myself allowing fear to rule my thoughts, and that is not a good thing. I have really learned that in order to hold onto faith, you have to kick fear the heck out. Forcibly remove it. Divorce it from your life. Divorce is a good word to use in this context because (having experienced it) it suggests to me “dividing with force.”

When my former husband and I were in the process of what was intended to be an “amicable” divorce, we were going to a mediator who never used the word “divorce”, instead using the word “dissolution” to describe what we were doing to our family. It sounded sweet and painless, like sugar dissolving in water. As we got further down the road, it became clear to me that “dissolution” was not an accurate description of the experience. It was definitely a “dividing with force”. While divorce is not a pleasant thing when it happens to a couple and/or family, it is a most useful word when it comes to what should be done with the negative parts of life.

One of my favorite writers is C.S. Lewis, who wrote an excellent book called “The Great Divorce”. It has been years since I read it, but one point stood out, and that was that no degree of evil could exist in Heaven. Not a molecule. There had to be a total separation between good and evil. Because it is an irrevocable law that the two cannot occupy the same space. The same applies to light and darkness, hope and despair, and faith and fear. Light and darkness is a visible example. No one can argue with that one, because it can be seen. If a room is dark and you turn on a light, the darkness is gone from the space that is now occupied by the light. Period. No debate.

The others are a bit more slippery. Fear is sometimes seen as a positive motivator, or a deterrent to bad behavior. I myself have for years foolishly believed that if I could imagine the worst in any given situation, the fact that I had thought of it would prevent it from happening. As silly as that is, I would wager that some of you have also shared this belief on some level at some time, am I right? I am.

Worry never made the scary thing easier when the scary thing actually happened. We talk about “not getting our hopes up” and about how “if we have no expectations, we cannot be disappointed.” It takes a lot of practice to break out of these thought patterns. Rejecting hope and expecting nothing are products of fear. In order to embrace faith, we must divorce fear. We have to get our hopes up and expect everything. It’s risky. RISKY. Hopes can be dashed and expectations shattered, whether by other people, or by unforeseen circumstances, it happens. It has happened to me, and it certainly will again.

Right now I can see some possibilities in my future that look so good that I am afraid to hope for them. It feels much safer in that old and confining box that is labeled “I don’t deserve something that great.” But I want out of that box. So I have decided to get my hopes way, way up. Into the freakin’stratosphere! I have decided to expect every amazing thing I can imagine for myself and my children. I have decided to finally trust that the God I have faith in is a loving Father who wants to give me those things. My faith in this is strong. And when I inevitably start to doubt and fear, I will practice that faith. Again and again. Until practice makes perfect, and faith replaces fear. Forever.